When I first told Wyatt that I wanted to wait for him, I did not for one second think it was going to be easy. But I was willing to give us a try because I loved him. So before I knew it, I entered the missionary girlfriend world. It was a world completely unfamiliar to me and something I never thought I would even have to think about. I was one of the "waiter haters" (yes, us missionary girlfriends have a name for those of you that are just that). I was not about that life, but there was something about Wyatt and our relationship that changed me.
September 16, 2014 - I woke up knowing that it was going to be a very difficult day that day. Because I knew at the end of the day, I would be saying goodbye to my best friend, my boyfriend, my soon to be missionary. I can still remember spending time with him right before he was set apart. I can remember our final hug, tears streaming down both of our cheeks. I didn't want to let go of him. I was afraid to let go because I knew once I put my arms back down, I wouldn't be able to hold him again for two years. Walking away from somebody you love is unimaginably hard. But I kept reminding myself that this was not forever and what he would be doing the next two years was something incredibly good. So we whispered our last 'I love yous' to each other as we parted that night, hoping and believing that in two years we would be reunited.
Now back to the present time and I am here writing this with almost a month left before I get to see Elder Wyatt Johnson. Our waiting journey has not in any way, shape, or form been easy. But even through all the heartache, pain, lonely nights, ice cream binges, and heartfelt prayers of sorrow, I can honestly say that I have come to love him more each passing day. I am full of excitement to be able to see my best friend once again. And I can't believe how fast these two years have gone by. Looking back at everything, I am so proud of the both of us to be here now, awaiting for that reunion hug.
I want to share mine and Wyatt's love story with all of you now.
Wyatt and I went to high school together. We had a bunch of mutual friends in high school but we somehow had never really met each other. We finally did meet the summer before our senior year. And honestly, my love life was a mess when I first met Wyatt. But that was okay because Wyatt and I were just friends, getting to know each other. My first impression of Wyatt was that he was really cute haha. And as I got to know him, I realized how sensitive, humble, caring, and loyal he was. I started to form a crush on him after he took me to our school's homecoming dance but I didn't act on anything because I still was having a crazy love life. Eventually, the two of us started dating our exes again and we just continued our friendship. Well things didn't end well with either of our exes and before long, I found myself not being able to deny the fact that I was forming feelings for Wyatt.
We both went on our school's choir tour trip and while we were on the trip, he told me he liked me and we kind of had a "CTR" (choir tour romance). After choir tour, we continued to see each other and before long, we were dating. Not too long after, Wyatt received his mission call. He would be going to the Chihuahua, Mexico mission on September 17th. So in about 4 months he would be gone! I didn't choose right then to wait for him. We just continued dating, seeing how things would turn out.
So Wyatt left on his mission, and I had decided to wait for him. I understood things would be complicated, but I didn't fully understand how hard this waiting thing would be. Things started out great and as time went on, it seemed to be going just fine. I felt blessed for the "wait" I had. I could email him, send him packages or letters, he would email me, sometimes return a letter and I got a call from him on Christmas so I wasn't complaining. I knew other girls who were waiting for a missionary that had a much harder wait and I remember thinking how strong they were because I never could be in their shoes. I felt like I could hardly stand in my own shoes at times and I felt pretty blessed!
Then one Monday, I got an email that would change my wait completely. Things had to change and the more I read that email, the more my heart would break. Wyatt and I stopped writing. He had reminded me over and over the email that it wasn't a breakup and that he wanted me to keep waiting for him and have faith, but he had to focus on the Lord. The email shook me up. I had previously felt a similar prompting but I was too afraid to say anything, but I am so grateful that he spoke up and did what we both knew was right. The Lord had to come first.
So we stopped writing and communicating became so hard. I often times felt like I was dating a ghost and thought I was crazy to keep waiting for this boy. Everything felt so one-sided. There were many sleepless nights or nights where I would cry myself to sleep, worried that I would lose the man I loved. But the Lord always gave me strength when I needed it. And I continued to live my life day by day, just like Wyatt did on his mission. I don't know how I did it, but I always seemed to be able to continue on and any little thing that happened with Wyatt, seemed to be so much greater,
Now, I not only was waiting but I was "waiting and dating" (and before you condemn me for that please hear me out). Prior to Wyatt's mission, we had talked about what would happen dating wise for me while he was on his mission. We both felt like going on dates, getting to know other guys and making sure I had explored my options was what was best for me. We made that decision together. That doesn't mean I've just been going around dating any guy I see. Believe me! Starting to date anybody while Wyatt was gone, took months! And for those that are waiting and dating or thinking about waiting and dating, everyone is different. Take your time.
I did start dating one guy in particular. He was a really great guy and I still think he's a great guy. He made me laugh, he was there for me when I felt down, he understood my situation with my missionary and was supportive about it. To be truthful, he was quite amazing. But things got messy and confusing and I also started to see that I wasn't always who I wanted to be when I was around him. His family situation became chaotic, a part of it being because he was dating me. And even though things felt good when I was with him, I couldn't see myself with him past that present time. Things never really felt complete with him. And a part of me was still deeply in love with Wyatt. Eventually things became too much with this other guy so we went our separate ways. He's still in my life and is a great friend, but things aren't how they were before.
So, back to Wyatt...eventually he started to write me again and things started to be really good again. He had grown so much and I could see his new, found strength. For me, it was a little weird starting to write again because I didn't know what to say all the time and was always afraid of becoming a distraction again. But we made it to where we are now and pretty soon I will get to see the man I've been waiting for the past two years.
I haven't written every sad and lonely moment from the past two years here and I don't plan to because that would be sad and depressing, but talking to you missionary girlfriends, I know those days exist. And they exist way more than you wish they would. It's not easy being a missionary girlfriend. But it wasn't supposed to be easy. But I can promise that it was meant to be worth it! I know that things still may not work out with me and Wyatt, but I know this journey has made me a better and stronger person and so I know that no matter what happens, this will all be worth it.
Speaking to my missionary girlfriends in particular, it's rough, I know. Remember that it's okay to be sad and to feel upset or hurt or confused. It's okay to break down and cry. But do not hold onto those feelings forever. Let yourself break down. Let yourself cry. Let yourself binge watch Netflix as you scarf down a tub of ice cream. But always, always remember to pick yourself up again right after. Take it to the Lord and He will help you. Continue to grow as your boyfriend grows in his own ways. And find a support team! I couldn't have asked for a better support team than the one I have. It's filled with missionary girlfriends who also understand what I am going through and are so willing to help. I am so grateful for all the friends and acquaintances I have been able to make over the last two years! I will forever hold a special place in my heart for all the MG's out there. No matter what happens, the wait will always be worth it!
I seriously cannot wait to see you again, Elder Johnson! It's coming up so fast! I am so proud of all the work you have done and I cannot wait to hear about everything in person! I will forever love you and support you. I am thankful for this crazy journey we have been through and I can't wait to see what lies ahead for us!
I will definitely keep everyone updated! Thank you to those that have supported me and helped me along the way. I would not be where I am if it wasn't for you guys! Here's to the last of my journey!!!
Once upon a time there was a young girl and boy deeply in love. However the boy had to serve the Lord and so now they are waiting two years to spend the rest of eternity together. This is their fairytale story.
Wednesday, July 27, 2016
Sunday, July 10, 2016
Care Package: Valentine's Day/Birthday Themed
So this package I made back in February for Elder Johnson. I did it for Valentine's Day and his birthday (since that also is in February).
First I made this birthday card for him. I had actually gotten the idea from another missionary girlfriend who also has a missionary in the same mission as Elder Johnson, I just tweaked mine a tiny bit. (The Chihuahua, Mexico mission)
Making the box itself was pretty easy for this one. I just painted it red, put hearts all over, a picture and wrote on the flaps of the box, "You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall, is in love with me!"
In past blog posts, I've mentioned this binder I made for Wyatt for while he was on his mission. It's pretty much so that he can still be in my life and what not as he's on his mission. If you want to find out more about it or do something similar this link will go more in depth about the binder :) http://missionarygirlfrienddiary.blogspot.com/2015/04/keep-him-posted.html
These are the pages I made for him to add to that little binder of his! :)
This one says "Happy Birthday To My Prince Charming" |
Happy VDay to my love :) |
I got him a plastic rose and wrote him a little note with it. The note said, "A girl gives a boy 12 roses...11 real, 1 fake. And she says to him, 'I will stop loving you when all the roses die.'"
I wrote down a whole bunch of cheesy pickup lines and put them in a little box for Wyatt to read :P
So I tend to fill my packages with some random things. I got some little "dino blasters" which I actually got from my work haha. I got him lots of different types of chocolate, including some french chocolate. I put in some cotton candy as well. I put in a box of cake mix to go along with his birthday. I gave him two ties that I got from my favorite tie website: https://www.cheap-neckties.com/
I put in a "Sweet Talk Nifty Note" that I got from: http://knockknockstuff.com/product/sweet-talk-nifty-notes/
I put in a couple of talks that had to do with love as well which can be easily found on lds.org.
I topped the package off with a big heart and some rose petals. |
Just a little recap of the package :)
I hope you enjoyed this! :D
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