My missionary comes home this Wednesday! And of course I'm freaking out! My emotions have been all over the place this last week. I won't be seeing Wyatt until Thursday but still...that's this week. This wait is coming to an end! I never thought I would be here writing about him coming home, but I'm finally able to say that my missionary is coming home and that there really is an end to the two years!
Because I am so close to no longer having the title "missionary girlfriend," I thought it would be a good idea to answer any questions other missionary girlfriends may have about waiting for a missionary. I asked a lot of missionary girlfriends to ask me any questions they might have about being a missionary girlfriend. Some of the questions I received were intended for me personally, while others were directed towards my missionary. This post is going to be all the questions that were directed towards me and then I will do another post either tomorrow or within the next few days with the questions Wyatt was asked. So without further ado, here are the answers to the questions you all asked me! If you have any other questions, I'd be happy to answer any of them!
Questions for me:
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| This is the DoingTime countdown |
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| This is how the countdown for Dreamdays looks like. |
What was something that shocked you the most about being a missionary girlfriend?
-For me, the most shocking thing was the fact that I was a missionary girlfriend! I never thought I would be one. Before I was a missionary girlfriend, I was so against them. I was what missionary girlfriends would call, "a waiter hater."
How did you keep from not going insane?-Haha this is actually a hard question because I'm pretty sure I did go insane. I feel bad for the roommates I had when Wyatt did leave on his mission...I'm sure they thought I was insane. But I think what helped me stay a little sane was having a support group. I tried to fill my life with people who would help strengthen me and support me. Missionary girlfriend FB pages are lifesavers! Shout out to all those girls...you guys seriously helped me the past two years! But yeah, you need to make sure you have people who will support you because when things seem hard or hopeless, they will help you so much!
How did you overcome the heaviness in your heart of missing him while he was gone, in order to stay on the right path with the right frame of mind?
-You are obviously going to feel emotions, strong emotions, because the person you love is so far away and there's so little communication, but I prayed a lot! And when the heaviness felt so bad that I didn't think I could handle it anymore, I would always kneel down and pray my heart out to the Lord for help and strength. And I always found peace. Like when Wyatt first left, I was so heartbroken and I remember one night it was so bad and since it was all new to me, I didn't think I could do all of it for two years and I didn't want to feel that way day after day. So late at night, I climbed out of bed with tears streaming down my cheeks. I knelt down by my bed and I cried out to the Lord. Telling him how hurt I was and how I knew Wyatt was doing something good but I couldn't seem to think about the positive and I couldn't shake the heaviness I felt. I prayed wondering if I was making the right choice to wait for this boy. And Heavenly Father gave me peace that night. I remember hearing rain hit my window and I felt this overwhelming peace and the thought, "remember to wait for the rain" came to my head. Which was exactly what I needed. Backstory: I had wanted to get a kiss in the rain with Wyatt before he left on his mission but every time it rained, we were either apart or there was no way for us to go out in the rain for a kiss. Finally like a few days before he left, we were parked and it started to rain. So we jumped out of the car and that night we got our kiss in the rain. It was perfect and totally worth the wait. So when I heard the rain that night, I knew that just like that kiss, the wait would be worth it. I promise prayer will always help whenever you feel that "heaviness." Heavenly Father knows what you need more than you think. And He is very aware of his missionary girlfriends.
Were you ever scared of him forgetting about you or not loving you anymore?
-Yes! Especially at the beginning because I just kept thinking how much time we would be apart and it seemed like it was such a long time!
Did you ever feel like giving up?
-If I had a dollar for every time I thought about giving up, I wouldn't need a job right now! Doubts are a real thing! And I got them a lot! And whenever those doubts would be so overwhelming, I would think about just giving up and things would get easier...but I love Wyatt so even when I would sometimes come close to wanting to end it all, I would pray to remember why I had decided to wait for Wyatt and then ask if it was still right for me to wait for him. We all know what happened each time, cuz I'm still here waiting haha.
How did you get rid of that aching pain in your chest?
-So this kind of goes with an earlier question. But I've been thinking a lot about this specific question and how to answer it. Just like the question about the heaviness in your heart, you are going to feel these feelings...and for me I felt them mostly at the beginning. But there came a point where I finally felt numb. And I hate saying that cuz I think it sounds sad and depressing, but I know other girls have felt this way too so I want to be honest about this feeling. There is no other way to describe it. I really just felt numb. I didn't feel hurt, sad, happy or anything. I knew I had a feeling but it was nothing (hopefully that makes more sense than I think it does). I couldn't feel anything and it was the weirdest thing. And probably the worst feeling because I would rather feel anything than feel nothing at all. But the numbing did help because it gave me some clarity in some ways. And after the numbing feeling, I felt like I could finish waiting for my missionary with a lot more ease. Obviously it would still be hard, but I knew I could handle it now.
How did you make him still feel real?
Did you ever have any doubts about how things were going to turn out?
-Kind of already answered this, but yeah I did. I used to be afraid of him falling in love with some girl on his mission. Not gonna lie...sister missionaries scare me haha.
How did you keep going after the first year?
-How could I not?! After the first year, I was even more in love with Wyatt than from the beginning of the wait and if I was willing to try to make it work back when he first left, I couldn't imagine not continuing to wait if I had come to love him even more. Also the wait seemed less daunting now that it was going to be the last year. The first year can be hard because everything is about firsts - first area, first companion, first lonely nights, first Christmas, first birthday, etc. But the second year is all about lasts and that felt so much better and comforting!
What helped you once you made it to the halfway point?
-Just knowing that I was on the downhill part of the countdown made it so much better. I just kept doing what seemed to work the past year for us and just had faith. Having the Lord on your side will seriously help you so much in the end.
What are the last 6 months like? And how do you deal with it?
-Honestly the last 6 months is kind of blur haha. It's all kind of crazy and emotions are all over the place but just keep doing what you do and try not to pay attention to the countdown as much as you want to. For some reason, the first 6 months and the last 6 months, you want to be glued to that countdown, but give yourself some space from the countdown and it will help...I promise! How I dealt with the last 6 months was that I gave myself other things to look forward to...actually I would do this during the whole wait. Find something that excites you in the near future that you can pay attention to. For example, whenever there was a "MG Date Night" I would always focus on that rather than my countdown for my missionary. Or like the last 3 months for me, I told myself that I had one last summer and after the summer was over, Wyatt would be home so I just put my time and effort into making my summer amazing for me and I would focus on doing things that would make my summer great rather than just wait for Wyatt to come home.
-I would try to say simple testimonies in my emails to Wyatt about good lessons I had in church or institute or experiences I had that helped me grow closer to the Lord. When I sent Wyatt packages, I would try to send a talk or a scripture in the package. And sometimes when I would send a talk, I would also write down any thoughts or questions that I had so that Wyatt would know what I was thinking while I read it. Also for Wyatt and I, one thing I think that help us have a more Christ-centered relationship was when we stopped writing. About 7 months into Wyatt's mission, we both agreed to stop emailing but continue waiting so that we both could focus more and because of that we had to give up a lot and we both turned to the Lord to help us and I think that helped us to really understand what it means to put Christ in your relationship.
What things helped your missionary stay focused?
-It's hard for me to say what helped him, but I think his friends and family really helped him always remember what was important. Especially his parents. And like I said, I would try to include Christ and I would often times tell Wyatt to remember his purpose for his mission.
What did you do to grow spiritually with him and what did you do on your own?
-Growing spiritually with him can seem challenging. He's constantly surrounded with the gospel and trying to grow spiritually. But if you are making an effort to grow, you will grow. We would share scriptures we found, we bore our testimonies with each other, and we would pray for each other. These things helped us not only grow spiritually together, but also helped with that whole Christ-centered relationship. I would try to go to the temple, even if it was to sit on the grounds. I would put effort into my callings, etc. I can't say I was perfect in constantly doing what was right...I did at some points fall behind in my mind, but each time I felt like I had failed, I would make an effort to try again. The Atonement is such an amazing thing and learning to use it in my daily life has blessed me immensely.
-When you have Christ in your relationship, it will astound you how much that will help your relationship. Also, I opened myself up to Wyatt over the two years more than I had before he left on his mission and knowing that I could turn to him about literally anything and be honest to him helped flourish our relationship.
What are the dating plans for after he gets home?
-Well we are definitely planning on dating each other when he gets home. But here's where it may seem a little weird...so as many of you know, I dated and waited the past two years so I wanted to make sure I was giving Wyatt equal opportunities and I asked him if he wanted to date other girls too, and he told that if other girls asked him out, he'd probably go on a date with him but he plans on dating me still...so I'm not really worried about how things will be like haha cuz he's pretty serious about marrying me.
What was your least favorite part about the wait?
-There's a whole list of negative things about the wait haha but I think the fact that there was so much distance with so little communication was the worst part of it all.
What was you favorite part about the wait?
-I loved that I was able to grow closer to my Father in Heaven with my best friend even though we were miles apart. And making new friends with people who also were going through what I was going through was incredible. I met some of my best friends from waiting for a missionary and I probably would have never met them had I not been a missionary girlfriend.
-Waiting for a missionary isn't easy. I wouldn't wish it for my worst enemy to have to wait for a missionary because it seriously is so hard. But at the same time, it also is the most rewarding experience. You learn so much about yourself and the person you are waiting for. Sometimes it doesn't end up the way you thought it would, but it changes you and makes you a stronger person. Wyatt's dad gave me some really good advice near the beginning of my wait that I have constantly gone back to. He gave me 4 things to focus on while I waited for his son. 1. Focus on your educational opportunities. 2. Develop habits that help a missionary grow. 3.
Grow in spiritual knowledge. This includes going to the temple, attending institute, and going to your ward meetings. 4. This last one Wyatt will actually mention in one of his answers haha but in short, his dad says to embark in the service of others and their God. Love God and devote your will to His. Doing these things will not only help you as you wait for a missionary but they will help you personally to become the person God wants you to be. When you have doubts or concerns, always take it to the Lord. He will help you more than anything or anyone else ever could. I can't believe this journey is coming to an end and I'm so grateful for all the friendships and all the lessons I have learned but most of all I am so grateful that I was able to do this with my best friend and the man I want to marry. I am so proud of you Elder Johnson and can't wait to see you again soon!
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