Starting to Adjust to Being a Missionary Girlfriend

Okay...so I knew this was going to be hard, but I honestly didn't think it would be this hard. After Wyatt left , I honestly felt so detached from everything. I was sad and upset and always feeling down. I wasn't happy even though I tried to be...I just couldn't seem to be happy. I didn't care how I looked because I felt like there was no point in caring since Wyatt was gone. I didn't want to see anybody. I just wanted to sit at home and cry and feel bad about myself. I honestly wasn't myself and I have never felt that way before. I was so heartbroken...it felt as if I had just gotten broken up with and honestly...it was hard on me.
Finally, I couldn't handle it anymore. One night, I got down on my knees and I poured out my soul to my Father in Heaven. It was hard. I have never felt this way before, but God helped me through that night. I had already been afraid that Wyatt was going to tell me that we needed to break things off. I was scared to death that he didn't want me to be a distraction and that he was falling out of love with me. I cried out to Heavenly Father and asked for comfort, some sort of peace so that I could make it through this hard time. I felt some peace that night, but it wasn't until the next day that I was filled with comfort.
I had received an email from my sweetheart! It was a short, simple message but it was all I needed. He told me he loved me and that was all I needed to hear from him. Yes, the rest of the email was nice but I just needed to know he still loved me. God had answered my prayer. He really is aware of his daughters...especially those missionary girlfriends. After that email I was finally happy and I picked myself up and have been doing better.
Saturday I was truly happy again. I laughed! And I was having an amazing day! Yes, I wish Wyatt could have been there with me or I wish I could have texted him to tell him how great work was, but I learned that it was okay for me to be happy without him. I learned that if I lost myself in trying to make myself happy for these next two years, I can be truly happy. Even without Wyatt.
I love him more than anybody and I can't wait for when I'll get to share those little moments with him again. But for now, I'm learning to adjust to him being gone and still trying to be myself. It's hard. It's extremely hard, but I'm willing to try because he's so worth it! He makes me so happy and I don't want to lose him. I know these next two years are going to be extremely difficult. I'm going to have those days where I feel like I can't do it anymore, but I'm going to make it through! I promise. I don't fall in love that easy. A lot of people think I do but honestly...I don't. Wyatt is everything to me and I'm in love with him. I hope he realizes how much I love him and how lucky I feel just to know he is mine.
I know with God by my side, I can make it through these next two years. I have felt my relationship grow with Him in just the week Wyatt has been gone. I'm grateful I have a Father in Heaven who is aware of my concerns, my struggles and my anxieties. He has been helping me out like crazy and I love Him for it!
Here's to adjusting!

And he's off :'/

Today my best friend left. He checked into the MTC at 1:00 pm today. Yeah, I cried today. I cried while writing my school paper in the library. I cried in the bathroom. I cried on the walk home. I cried laying in bed. I cried when my friend came over. I cried when my mom took me home. I cried a lot. 

I'm really going to miss him. 

This is going to be so hard and I know that but I'm willing to try because I know he's worth it. I hope I never forget how much I love him. He's my world and even though we have miles apart, we can still love each other. 

He's going to do amazing on his mission. Mexico is lucky to have him :) love you babe. Forever and always! I promise. 

(Just so you know..."I promise" is what me and Wyatt say to each other all the time. It's like our "always." At least I think that's what it's called...it's from the Fault in our Stars. Haha. But yeah, thought you should know)

Last day well spent...

Today was my last day with Wyatt before he leaves tomorrow to the MTC. I'm going to miss him so much but I'm glad I got to write him a letter and put it in his packet for the MTC.

I already can't wait to see him again. Two years is going to be hard but I know we'll make it babe. 

I got to take some pictures with him today thanks to my friend. After that he went to dinner with his family and then they picked me up so we could spend some time together before he got set apart. 

I finally cried in front of him. 

I love you babe. We're gonna make it if we really want to. He's gonna make an amazing missionary and Mexico is lucky to have him. 

2 days.... (yesterday's post)

I had this written out but I guess it didn't post...awkward... here's yesterday's. It's a really short one...oh well.


And now we are down to only two :(

Where has all the time gone? It seems like just yesterday he was opening his call and we still had so much time left, now he's practically gone. 

I've come to realize though over the past week how much I want to spend my life with him. I love him more than I ever could have imagined and I can't wait for him to return in honor. I know I sound like a broken record, but he's my everything and I can't imagine my life without him.

I know we can make it through these next two years. It really isn't that much time when you think about it. We've got this. Sure it will be hard, but we can make it. I have faith in that.

I love you Wyatt...forever and always. I promise.

3 more :(

Today Wyatt's best friend and close friend of mine came over. It was great because I finally told somebody about all my concerns and just finally got to spill out my guys. There were tears of course but it was good to let it all out  

I'm going to make this short tonight. I love Wyatt as I'm sure you've gathered by now, but I want to marry him. I see a future with him. Yesterday his friends told me I am the best girlfriend he's had which made me happy. We also naturally started talking about if Wyatt and I got married. It just felt so right. I love him. So much. I'm so proud of him. It's gonna be hard but I can't wait for him to learn and grow. 

4....

Today was good :)

So Wyatt and I had plans to hang out tonight. Little did he know that I was actually planning a surprise farewell party with a few of our friends. 

To get him to the place though, I had him go on a scavenger hunt. I only had him go to 4 places because it was representing the 4 days we had left. At each stop I left a note and then I left a clue. I also provided balloons to coordinate to the days (four balloons for 4...etc) and that helped him find the places too since we did it at night haha. He loved it! 

For the four days I wrote a note and it's main topic was, B4 I met you. Three was, with the 3 of us (God, him and myself). Two was all about two years and one was about taking it one day at a time. 

At the end we had snacks, drinks and a cake! After that we went to dominos to get pizza haha and it was just a great night. 

I love that boy so much and it was so fun to have everyone there again :) it's gonna be hard letting him go. 

Count it on one hand (5 days)

Today I didn't see Wyatt but we got to text again all throughout the day :) I love just having small conversations with that boy. 

I also got something today that I have been super excited for. Let me show it off haha :)

Isn't it amazing?! I love it sooo much! I literally carried it in my pocket all day because I was so happy about it. Haha :)

I also went shopping today for Wyatt :) I got him a few things for his mission that I'll show once I complete it all. He's gonna be mad at how much I spent but oh well. 

Haha we have this thing when it comes to money. See I'm not a big fan of guys buying me things all the time, especially flowers and chocolates because I dry out my flowers as soon as I get them and lately I'm not a HUGE fan of chocolate. Besides, I'd rather get something I'm going to use a lot...like a necklace or shoes. If he bought me shoes!!!! Oh man I would die haha. Anyways, so yeah. I also think if he's spending money on me, I should spend some on him so it's mutual. That includes dates.

Wyatt has had a hard time with that one. He used to pay for everything and I hated it. I finally convinced him to let me pay for something and I think he's starting to get used to the idea of mutually paying for things. 

So hopefully he won't freak out too much because I'm pretty sure I spent over $100 haha. 

Oh well :) he deserves it and I love him!